My dad was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme (it pains me that I know how to spell that without looking it up) in September 2010. They told him that with surgery, chemo, and radiation he would have 14 months and that he should get his affairs in order. Over the next year, he and my mother were able to get all of their personal affairs sorted out and all possessions transferred into my mother's name. During that time, my dad went back to work (self-employed) as if nothing happened. He was always strong-willed and strong of body...which I think helped.

That all lasted until the weekend after Thanksgiving 2011. The tumor had re-grown and started to affect his motor function. After a week or so, Hospice started at home. Me, my mother, my sister, my grandmother, and my aunt were all there when he passed on December 30, 2011. He made it 15 months, 1 month longer than they gave him.

Having the extra time was good to get all of their affairs in order. That last year was emotionally hard, knowing that the end was near, but not knowing exactly when it was going to happen. I'm not sure slow, low-level grieving is better or not.

I have always wondered if the quick way would be any better. Boom. Gone. The end. Start new reality immediately. In some respects, I think not seeing the decline, rapid or slow, and not dealing with the emotions for an extended period of time would be easier. But an intense high-level grieving and not having a chance to say goodbye seems tough too.